Wind Beneath My Wings

I had to find the cheesiest song lyrics possible for titling this blog. SUCCESS!!! Now that I can go on feeling satisfied with that life accomplishment, let's get to the point.

There is so much that I want to write about the experience that was the New York City Marathon. In short, it was the most challenging, most incredible, most indescribable experience of my entire life. Definitely more on that to come…but the thing that must come first is a blog of gratitude. Never in my entire life have I felt so loved and cared for as I did in the days before and after the race. I’m definitely one of those people who has days where I feel like the song “nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms” (anybody out there remember that one from their childhood? Shout out 1988!?!?!) applies to my life. While I know this is silly and I know I have awesome people that I can call my “community”, I guess it’s just sometimes easy to forget that people care as much about you as you do about them. Here’s a look at the “short” list of things that touched my heart throughout “marathon week”.

*every single positive thought, prayer, word of encouragement that came my way the weeks leading up to the race when it came to my knee injury (see previous blog)
*my roommate creating a goodie bag for my trip (yes I’ve mentioned this before but it was just that awesome)
*my fellow running friends in the “core four” that wrote me the sweetest letters, loaned me their race belts, gave me sayings and verses that I literally read every night before I went to bed the entire time I was in NYC, and put up with my moments of panic
*my principal, and friend, who gave me a card with a sticky note for every day she wouldn’t see me – I can’t say how much I looked forward to every morning where I would get to see the sweet words for that day
*my two BFF’s who came to NYC, ran with me before the race to decide if it was even going to happen, gave me a tshirt and card, trudged down to the basement and stole a cart to bring me bags of ice for a post race ice bath, hauled PVC pipe on an airplane so I could have a TCU flag at the race (glad every other Horned Frog racing in NY got to enjoy it – as I missed it), and even dried my hair after the race b/c I couldn’t move
*my cousins who came and spent their entire day watching stinky people run by for five hours so they could cheer me on for a whole 34.2 seconds
*EVERY SINGLE comment on facebook, like of a picture or post, text message, and phone call. Seriously, I wish I could go into detail of what that meant to me, and thank the people who sent them, but it would take too long to thank 80+ people (I didn’t even know I KNEW 80+ people) who probably won’t ever actually read this blog. But, even if just one of you does – THANK YOU. It was those comments more than any that went through my mind as I limped through mile 10 – 26.2. I dedicated my miles to y’all, remembered your sweet words, and let that positive thinking keep me going.
*My kiddos who wrote me notes to let me know how much they wanted me to win – yes WIN the NYC marathon – they don’t get it clearly, but the Flat Stephanie/Jakus/Stanley (we never could quite decide a name for the girl Stanley designed to look like me) who was, literally, by my side (pinned to my belt) the whole race, reminded me of the 20 little people who “get” to spend 8 hours a day with me 5 days a week and that I just adore – they helped me through that race too
*the kids who high fived me in the hall when I came back to work and continued to ask me if I had won – must be what it feels like to be a celebrity
*the poster and flowers that were waiting for me on my desk, courtesy of my roommate once again, when I got home at 1am, exhausted, slightly defeated, and hardly able to move. Not much was making me smile at that time, but that sure did
*the marathon celebration dinner my sweet friends had for me when I got back to FW where I got to run through a sign – dream come true!
*the cards of congratulations from friends and family close and far
*my sweet 2005 Tremont girls that sent me flowers and a pedicure gift card to work my first day back – one of the sweetest surprises of my whole life
*the letter my aunt wrote me congratulating me on my accomplishment
*last, and saved for last for a reason, my parents love, pride, and encouragement. A whole post could be dedicated to their involvement and dedication to this thing that meant so much to me – so maybe I’ll do just that. For now, Mom, Dad, without you guys this would not have been possible. At all.
*Finally, I guess this is really the last one, the knowledge that the race was only possible b/c of a God who loves me, gives me legs that work, even if only partly ☺ and makes 26.2 miles possible. With as bad as my knee/leg hurt the day before, there is NO WAY I could have raced without some divine intervention. Pretty darn sure of that.

My heart is overwhelmed just writing that list. I don’t have any idea why so many people would care that much about me, I certainly am undeserving of it, but at the same time, I am forever grateful for it. I venture to say that the outpouring of love I received these past few weeks was better than the race. Equal at least. THANK YOU for every little bit of it.

Ready, Ready, Ready. Ready to RUN!

Disclaimer: The follow was written in an extreme rush. I just wanted to get my thoughts out tonight so I can remember this feeling after.

Tomorrow night I leave for New York to run in the New York City Marathon. Yes, THE New York City Marathon. Yes, the same marathon I have talked about and tried to get in to for four years. The same marathon I have trained for the past six months. The same marathon that has kept me in and put me to bed on Friday nights for over 20 weeks. The same marathon that allowed me to meet new friends and realize how wonderful the ones I already had are. The same marathon that taught me I am not one of those lucky runners who doesn’t get injuries. The same marathon I have dreamed of for so long.

While I should be in bed right now and not restarting my entry into the blog world (more later on why I left), I can’t sleep from anxiety, excitement about being in my favorite city and thinking of crossing that finish line, curiosity over what this experience will be like, and my mind going 60 miles an hour wondering if I have remembered everything. I’m hoping my running outfit will be okay, I’m hoping the throw away clothes I’m bringing will keep me warm enough on my four hour wait at the starting line (or will attract the running man of my dreams to run the race with and fall in love with me). More than anything I am hoping that my knee will be all right come race day. As most of you know, during my last long run I had to stop early from extreme knee pain and was diagnosed with runners knee (inflammation under the knee mainly from tight muscles). I have diligently been doing my rolling, icing, stretching, RESTING, etc. every morning and night. I have bruises all over my thighs from my massage therapy. I’ve even gotten a steroid shot. Now all I can do is wait, PRAY, and HOPE that this will happen this year.

These past few weeks have been so trying, so frustrating, and so amazing. Yes, amazing. I have never felt so much love and never understood how blessed I am with the community I have surrounding me as I have these past few weeks. The encouraging words, the prayers, the advice, the positive thoughts when I had none, ETC. have touched my heart more than I can ever express. For example… My coworkers who have constantly asked about my training and my knee. My teammates who have helped me get ready for my four days out and listened to me talk about this to no end. My sweet friend who works in the hallway in the morning and gives me the best hugs and prays for me at the exact time of my shot. My bosses who have prayed for me along this journey and put it on our school calendar. My roommate who made me a goodie bag of the perfect items before the race and has told me so many times it WILL happen. My friends who have listened to my panic. My friends who have told me to stop being negative Nancy. My running friends who have let me vent, prepared me better than I ever would have been before meeting them, gave me verses to run through the race with. My best friends and family who are coming to New York to stand five hours in the cold to cheer me on. My parents who have made this day more possible than anyone else. I could keep going, but those are just some of the things that have brought tears to my eyes nearly every day the past three weeks when I think of them, because I am so undeserving of such love, generosity, and kindness. The Lord has me in His perfect hands and it is because of all of those people, you people, that I can see that. I hope will all my heart this is my year – FINALLY – but if it isn’t I will rest assured that those same people will be my support as I grieve the loss of not running it this year and gear up for next year.

THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart if you are reading this and have in any way been a part of this journey. I wish I could tell every one of you, in the million words it would take me to do so, what you mean to me. Instead know I am grateful for you and I love you. Please keep praying, please keep positively thinking, and please keep hoping for me!