Been quite awhile since I've put anything on here. Mainly because I didn't have much I thought was important to say. After all this time, this is going to be amazing then - obvi. Or really just something to help you waste time...
So anyway, lately I have been listening to different music than I usually do. I've gone back to my middle school days and decided I like the music of Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Weezer, etc. I have not however gone back to wearing umbros, sambas, and No Fear shirts, as cool as that would be. So with my new found musical interests I heard this song the other day. Blue October's - Hate Me. I've probably heard it a million times but never paid much attention to it. For some reason it has really hit me though, so after downloading it and listening to it repeatedly, it has made me come up with a few thoughts.
Here's the video:
Here are the lyrics as well:
I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape, to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, and a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, will you never call again?
And will you never say that you loved me, just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so f***ing far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling, "Make it go away," just make a smile
Come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered, "How can you do this to me?"
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you.
For You
For You
For You
Here are my thoughts - b/c I know that's what you're here for:
I wanted to know what exactly the band was trying to get across with this song so being the cool person I am, I investigated. There seems to be some debate as to whether it was written for his mother or for a girlfriend, but either way it is about how his mistakes (seemingly drug or alcohol abuse - or maybe just that awful eye makeup) have effected someone he cares for deeply. So, because of how much he "loves" that person he has decided to exit their life and desires them to hate him and move on with life because it will be better for them in the long run. I guess I just don't understand that. I realize it is horrible to hurt someone you care about. We've all done it and it's one of the worst feelings ever. But what I don't get is not being able to accept the love and forgiveness of those who care the most about you. Why would you want to push that person away? Why is it so hard to let someone else accept you, flaws and all? I know I'm incredibly flawed but I hope that the people in my life will continue to love me despite that. How painful it would be to not accept their forgiveness of the times I have hurt them. This song is just so sad to me. Probably most for the person that has been asked/forced to hate the singer. When you care about someone, love them so deeply (like the love of a mother for their child) the worst pain would have to be not having them. I imagine anyway. The line where he says she should do whatever it takes to leave him behind really gets me b/c what if that's just impossible for her? Sure, it is hard when you are hurt by the people in your life and it is hard to see them make choices that you realize will be painful, but it's harder to not have them at all. Why is it so hard to trust that person's love to be stronger than the pain you've caused them? Personally, I believe that people are capable of amazing forgiveness. Seems to me that it's worth giving them the chance to do it. I would even say it's selfish to decide FOR them that they are better off without you. Okay, I realize I've put WAY too much thought into this but this is one of the many things that I LOVE about music. Lyrics that make you think. Just my two cents.
